Excitement...?

So Emily informed me today that it's the one month mark till I leave for Taiwan. I'm super excited, but I'm not showing it very well. I know people are sad to see me go, but I know it's what I need to do. And I know despite the fact that many are sad, they're also very proud of me and that is the greatest feeling in the world, believe me!

Dreams

So, I rarely remember my dreams. I know I have dreams all the time but it's vary unlikely that I will wake up and know what I dreamt about. Last night however, was very different. I don't know if my state of mind just wanted me to remember or what. I like to attempt to analize my dreams too, figure out where certain things come from, and with the dreams I had last night, it's very easy :)

First one: I was driving around in a large van with my baby, yes I guess I had a baby, a girl, but I don't know if she had a name. Something big was going on, the heat index (although I have no clue what that is) was at 9% and in dream that meant that things were going really bad and everyone was freaking out that the world was going to end because of the heat. So I stepped up and was determined to save the world and I got a small army of random people together (they all magically fit in my van). We parked at a park sort of thing for awhile and I looked down a street and saw my sister and mother sitting in an office or living room. I walked over to them with my baby girl because they had never met her before. We talked for a bit and then someone yelled over at me that we needed to go. I looked at Mom and Megan and realized I would never see them again so I started to cry and they started to cry too. I went back over to the van and everyone was getting in. I swear this van was huge considering all the people inside it! And then I woke up :P So for now the world is safe hehe

Second one: I was at a small comedy club with the tiny two-person tables and there was a man sitting at the table with me. Bill Cosby was the comedian and he was going around to the different tables asking couples how many times they had kissed that day. Most only said once, one couple said they hadn't kissed at all, so then they were forced to kiss in front of him. He came over to our table and the guy at my table said we'd kissed 3 times today, which wasn't enough for Bill and we had to kiss again. So the guy gave me a peck on the lips and when he pulled away I saw it was D, my ex. Bill didn't like the peck and we had to kiss again, a "better" kiss, which D wasn't happy about doing and I had chocolate in my mouth lol. But it was a good dream kiss :P

We'll have to wait and see what happens in dreamland tonight!

Harry Potter and Stuff

Random Harry Potter Quotes

Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Hermione: Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled.

Hermione: YOU FOUL, LOATHSOME, EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH!

Dumbledore: It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.

Sirius Black: You should have died! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you!

Harry: I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.

Arthur Weasley: Never trust anything that can think for itself, if you can't see where it keeps its brain.

Dumbledore: You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him.

Fred Weasley: Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt.

Hermione: Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.

I'm obsessed with quotes, which I'm sure, over time, will be figured out by all! The last quote is from the most recent movie (Order of the Phoenix) that Emily and I saw the other night, so this phrase is being said and used often :D I personally like it because it happens to fit quite a few people! The movie was awesome, I never used to be big into Harry Potter but I saw the second movie twice when I was in Taiwan and since then I'd seen all 4 on TV at different times and went to the theater to see the 5th. Eventually I want to read the books because most say they are quite different from the movies, which happens.

One of my favorite things about this movie is the fact that Helena Bonham Carter is in this and she is one of my favorite actresses, not to mentioned the girlfriend of my favorite director, Tim Burton.

So I have many random obsessions that come out at weird moments :)

Religious Talk

I don't usually discuss such topics unless someone comes at me first. Which tecnically in this case someone did start the conversation. Someone I didn't know read my blog about my life in a nutshell and sent me e-mails, just normal ones to begin with, but then they slowly got into the topic of religious views. One e-mail of hers ended asking "If you were to die, would you be in Heaven?" Which got me started:

As for dying and going to Heaven, that's a difficult subject. In my mind, when I was really depressed this was how I looked at it. Everyone would try to tell me how suicide is a sin and all of that, I got tired of hearing it and the truth is my belief in God goes back and forth. So finally, I realized that I don't believe in God when I'm that depressed, so then suicide isn't a sin. And because I thought this way then Heaven and Hell don't exsist, so when I die I'm just gone.

Since my last attempt, 4 people close to me have died, so I've tried really hard to believe they are in Heaven, or at least in a better place, because it is hard to think that they're just gone. My beliefs in God are still iffy, I still go back and forth, I haven't been to church for quite a few months, and even then I only went because I was in the bell choir and because I love music. It's funny though because I have 4 different types of Bibles and I was part of a college youth group for most of my years at Wayne State.

Religion is an interesting issue for me and if I'm babbling you don't have to continue reading lol. Since I've lived in Taiwan I got very interested in Buddhism, Confucianism and even before that trip I've always been interested in religion. I also do a lot of chatting online and have had relationships with a Jehovah's Witness, Mormons, Catholics, Wiccans, Atheists, and most recently a Satanist. I was raised Methodist, Christian, so it's very interesting for me to learn about all these different things. Right now I would tell someone I'm Agnostic because I'm still figuring things out. Of all the religions I prefer Buddhism because it is so open, someone can be Buddhist, Confucious and Christian and the same time. It has less boundries and rules. I just kind of create my own values and morals that fit me. If that fits a specific religion, eventually I'll figure that out and be that, but until then I don't label myself :)

So that was my response to her question, like I said, once you get me started I can go on forever...I may not be exactly sure of what religion I fit into, but I know what I believe. After my response she wrote back and I realized I had just walked into something and didn't even realize it. Now she's trying to convince me to find God, giving me links and telling me how wonderful He is and how much she loves Him. I have no problem with someone's faith, what they believe, it's their own choice, but don't try to push it on me. I wrote her again polietly telling her I'm not interested in changing my beliefs right now. Honestly, I'm not worried that I'm going to die and my soul is gonna be stuck in limbo because I didn't choose God. I'm not trying to offend anyone with what they may believe, I'm just me and I'm not going to change yet and if I do, it will be on my own terms. I told her "thanks anyways though" at the end of the e-mail and she wrote me back again:

"So many people feel its offensive when you try to show them the way of salvation. But, the Bible tells the Christian to go out quickly and compel them to come in. (Be zealous about telling people the awesome message of God's love for them, and His grace). But, I hope you really do believe that you have a part in were you end up. I'll be praying for you to understand that death is real, Heaven and Hell are real. I'll be praying for you to realize that you have to alone make the choice to accept or reject Christ, and that not accepting is just rejecting. It's all up to you on that one. The devil has alot of things out there that look interesting but the only way to Heaven is to ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart and forgive and save you and believe on HIM for salvation... All you have to do is ask Him, you know? It's so simple.

But, I do know that I can talk forever about my Lord, because whatever you truly love is what you will find you talk about most in life, so I guess I love Him more and more every day! LOL I'm so glad I have His help, because if I didn't I don't know what I'd do when things get rough. I couldn't make it if I couldn't pray to God!!!!

I believe you have the right to believe whatever you want. That's the right God gives to us all.

Unfortunately, He gave up everything just so we wouldn't have to die and go to Hell, but people just see Him as someone who may or may not have been, may or may not have been the Messiah...

My beliefs are strong, and I don't wish to push them on you to be YOUR BELIEFS. Only you can decide what you believe. I'm just telling you what I believe.

God love you very much, and I will keep praying for you to understand that satan and other beliefs are not the way. Satan is a deciever. He is real. But, he can't save you and will never love you, there is no truth or live in him.

I just hope that you accept the Lord as Saviour, but if you had to go some other route, I would sure hope it wasn't satanism of all things. He doesn't care anything about you. When satan's done with his children, he dumps them into a ditch somewhere.

When people who are saved and love God die, it's just like life envelopes them, and there is no sting. That's the way I want to go!

I'm so glad we met, and I will pray for you. I can't tell you what to do, but, I hope you pray and ask God to show you what's right.

It's not about focusing on death or dying, it's about our eternal home... true peace, and having the best Friend ever! The real friend with the real power.

There's nothing like being able to talk about the greatest friend you have, and mine is God. You talk about those you love, and I LOVE GOD!

He makes great people, people like you!!!

But, we have to do things his way, and before He will answer any other prayer for us, we have to pray and ask Him to save us from ourselves and sin and all."

My response to this:

I'm doing fine as usual. I'm not necessarily offended, it was just a little unexpected. I don't normally listen when people talk this way because I feel that they are preaching at me and it doesn't matter what you'd say anyways because I make my own choices, my own educated choices. I know that death is real, there's no reason for it not to be, and I know that heaven and hell are real to some extent. And you're right, I alone have to make the choice, or not make it, to accept Christ.

And I never once said I was interested in Satanism. Except for the fact that it is a religion that is very misjudged by people that choose not to even attempt to understand anything outside of what they know, it is not something I choose to believe in because it doesn't necessarily follow my values. Why you think I am interested in Satan at all I do not know, but assumptions such as those sometimes come from people that don't really listen.

Have a good day
Marisa

Was I too harsh?? I haven't recieved a response yet. Not that I expect one, but like my father, I love to debate :D

Silly Video

So Emily and I have this recorder that we take with us on random road trips and sing songs and bunches of silly stuff. After we record this stuff we play it back and fast forward it so we sound like silly little chipmunks I think. We've been doing this for a few years, and I finally figured out how to record it onto the computer and I made a simple video to go with one of the songs. I didn't think I'd be able to, but I found a Windows Movie Maker on my computer (didn't even know I had that!) and put stuff together, it just makes me laugh! The song originally is Tribute by Tenacious D, but most of the high pitch voices you hear are mine and Emily's, mainly mine because I know the song better than her and I had drank a lot of caffeine! Because of the independent/indie films I've been watching, it got me motivated to try my own stuff, completely amateur and cheap obviously, but I don't care and I doubt you will either!!

Films

I have a new obsession, actually it's an old obsession revisited. When I was a freshman in college I lived in the dorms. Our cable was not the same as the towns so we got some different channels. I was always watching the Sundance Channel because it was made up of independent films, including foreign films. I remember this one French film about a kid taking the subway a lot, and I watched it for my French class, but also because I wanted to. I've been hooked ever since, plus, I don't mind reading subtitles (I'm used to it from Taiwan lol). Then I had regular cable the next few years and sort of forget about my interest in foreign films...small town so the movie galleries don't really carry the stuff I wanna watch.

Now that I'm back at my parents and the fact that they're addicted to regular television enough that they have satellite, (thank you Desperate Housewives and Food Network) I have IFC, the Indepent Film Channel, and I've been watching it for two days straight! I love it! I don't know why I enjoy these films compared to "Hollywood" ones. Maybe the fact that most are low-budget so it looks like someone actually put thought into them rather than millions of dollars of special effects. Some of them actually have big name actors, but most are in foreign languages with foreign actors. I think it's because since they aren't all fancy-schmancy with effects and promotion and big names, you actually get the point, the moral, the idea behind it. They make you think....not that regular movies don't make me think, but they're more showy.

I watched a movie about this woman who's son is killed in a car accident and she travels to a place she hasn't been for 20 years to tell the father, but while she's looking for him, other people she meets along the way help her get her life back together after her son, and inadvertantly helps them in their own struggles. And it was all in Spanish. It's life, so I like it. It's not big chase scenes, wizards, pirates, large pyro techniques, or cartoons. I like stuff I can relate too....not that I don't like all the glamour sometimes too :D But I do have a whole schedule now of IFC movies that I just HAVE to watch, or at least DVR and watch later....haha, thank you technology!

Plus I don't know what channels will be on my TV when I get to Taiwan, but I already love the Chinese films and since those are "foreign" to me, an American, pretty much every channel there will be like IFC.....except HBO :D

The celebrities I know!

This is at www.myheritage.com where they do face recognition with the pictures you put in, to see if you match celebrities, if you use different pictures of yourself, you get different results. I don't know how they really decide, but it's fun and free, so I like it :P

I really like mine because my biggest match is Emily Dickinson, who is one of my favorite writers already :D


Here's my sister, Megan. I did one that I didn't like so I tried a different picture and this one turned out better:


And I did a couple for my best friend Emily, this was my favorite:


It's just fun!!