Turning 22

So I can't decide if I'm looking forward to my birthday or not and if I'll get homesick or not. Am I grown up yet?? Because I don't feel like it. I was still getting used to being a teenager and now it's 22. Sure that's not really old, but for only being 22 I've gone through a lot more than I ever expected. It's been good and bad: I've watched people come and go in my life either through death or just time to be done. I've dealt with really bad depression and survived (something I never thought would happen). I graduated college in 3 years and am now planning graduate school (yes, I'm a dork, there are many lists and schedules being made!). I've traveled the world a few times and am currently living in a beautiful country that I love like a second home doing my dream job of teaching little kids. I couldn't be much happier at this moment except for the fact that my location now keeps me away from so many I love.

I understand why I love computers so much because I'm more connected to people now than ever before. I think I even talk to my sister more often now than I did when I was home, so that is one thing keeping me strong. How I did this before with once a month phone calls I will never know and I know I struggled a lot then with homesickness. Now when I'm feeling the slightest homesick, I put on my headset and call my mommy through my computer. I really haven't felt homesick at all in these 5 weeks because I can stay so connected and because I have an awesome roommate.

I have been very lucky throughout the 22 years of my life, very blessed, very loved. I may not have always seen it as so, but I always knew that there were so many people who loved me. Despite the hardest times I've gone through there has always been someone there, but that was never the problem. It is very easy to be loved, to feel loved and to know you are loved, it was always a matter of me loving myself. That was the hard part, but it's gotten better. I am at a good point in my life and it's nice. But the fact that things are so good of course makes my mind wonder...but I can never stop thinking, evaluating, questioning things...and I will never know which parent I got that from!!