Taiwan Interview

So my interview was last night, lasted a little over an hour....so many questions and I probably talked fast, but I think I appeared friendly, fun and bubbly. The guy who called was very nice and made it very easy to talk. I got to talk about my experiences in Taiwan which of course was fun because I love to talk about Taiwan! At the end of the call he said I should know in 4-5 days if I am accepted because they will send me a ton of information and a list of stuff they need from me. He told me on the phone that my experiences were a bonus and that I sounded like I'd make a great teacher and then in response to my thank you e-mail he said my experiences were unique and he's sure he'll talk to me again soon!!!! Trying not to read into things and trying not to get my hopes up :P I told mom and she said she's already talking like I'm going!!! AHHHHHHH I'm soooo excited. I know this is what I want to do and the fact that everything's coming together to make it happen is so great.

Ping Jia and Shou Hai

I talked to a past exchange student from Taiwan last night, pretty much part of our family. He says it's "unacceptable" because he's coming back to the states right before I go to Taiwan so we're gonna just miss each other :P And I talked to a past Taiwanese classmate this morning, pretty much my best friend, so now I'm even more excited to see all my old friends and classmates. She still keeps in touch with a few of my close friends and she'll help me with whatever when I'm over there. :D :D

I have a phone interview Tuesday at 8pm for the Taiwan teaching job...pretty excited. Finally mentioned the whole thing to dad - actually he overheard me and mom talking. He told me to go, in a way I consider it his blessing, I pretty much cried from so much excitement, but then he just walked away, so it's kinda weird and it bugs me because I don't think he wants me to go but he knows how much it means to me. Got in a discussion with my mother yesterday about how I'm always doing things to make others happy. I finally realized going to Taiwan is something I really really want, for once in my life what I want to make me happy, so of course I'm doubting the whole idea because I know it will make many others unhappy.... totally sucks, but it's just me. My sister and I have a whole trip to NYC planned for September, pretty much booked and paid for, but I could go to Taiwan as soon as July if I get accepted and decide to go. I know she's upset and I am too, but a few years in Taiwan takes preference over 6 days in NYC even though I'm DYING to go and we have tickets to a broadway show! Blah, I hate decisions, they suck lol.There's just so many decisions right now that I need to make: Taiwan or the US? Today or tomorrow? Which job? Which country? Which state? Which this? Which that? It's a lot to decide all at once and you don't really get a second chance if you think you made a wrong choice....ahhhhhh!! I'm attempting to take it all one thing at a time and talk to people when I feel stuck..but who am I supposed to call at 3am when I can't sleep because I have so much on my mind? Who knows, we'll just have to see how things go Tuesday. Right now the only thing that should be on my mind is going to Ocean's Thirteen with my sister tomorrow...one day at a time, right? :S

Jobs! Jobs!! Jobs!!!

So I finally got motivated...yesterday I applied for like 20+ jobs and have gotten so many calls and e-mails and stuff! It's exciting but nerve racking at the same time. I wanna find a job but I wasn't motivated before and now it's getting a little better since I have an interview on MONDAY!!! I'm nervous, but I'm not at the same time. I know I"ll probably be really nervous in the actual interview, but even if I don't get this one there will be many more I'm sure. I'm not really afraid of rejection...used to that lol. And there are only like two or three jobs I'm really super excited about and I haven't heard from them yet. Main areas I'm looking at are Kansas City, Minneapolis, Denver and surrounding areas. I don't really care where I go. I'd prefer to be out of Nebraska and I'd prefer to be in a big city, but otherwise I'm not picky. I know my perfect destination: Taiwan, but I'm not sure how likely that is right now. I sent an application to a program that helps place Americans in Taiwan schools, but I haven't heard back yet, so we'll see. Wish me luck!

Pain and War

Sometimes I think people do not realize how much things hurt me. A friend died over in Iraq in August 2006 and numerous people think that I was not good friends with him or even did not like him and that's farthest from the truth. I don't try to defend myself to people because they just don't believe me. I know sometimes it seemed like we didn't get along, but we talked a lot when people weren't around. I know more about him than people suspect and it hurts to hear people talk about him, thinking I don't care. We became really close after my big suicidal attempt and before he went to Iraq he made me promise not to do anything "stupid" while he was gone or he'd kill me (makes no sense I know) but I promised him that, we had a lot of secret promises like that. I was unable to go to his funeral because of work and because of issues with people that would be there, so I've never really said goodbye. Memorial Day was the first time ever that it was a hard holiday, it didn't help that I had 4 people to remember. I don't remember the last time I cried so hard. The news that night was doing a segment on those that have been killed in Iraq and I just lost it, literally lost it. I was glad to have real friends around at the time because I don't know what I would have done otherwise. People bring him up in conversation and I just go silent, I have nothing to say, it just hurts so much. I miss him more than I expected....

Pirates and Shrek get it on

Pirates knocked up Shrek. What is the world coming to?? Found this randomly, couldn't help but laughing, and you can't tell me it doesn't put a smile on your face :D